We all have taken tests for IQ and EQ. We all have taken tests on F A C E B O O K on IQ and EQ. There are also a shit load of personality tests out there to make you feel better about yourself. The tests are more like drugs, for the faint hearted. All of the results suggest that you are really God's gift to humanity, and that you are one in a million. The point is, the quiz says the same thing to the other 999 thousand also! And we imagine all those good things actually exist within us, for a moment atleast, and feel happy about it. Wonder why we just don't like being called a human... a selfish, materialistic, greedy, ambitious, faulty, sadistic, hypocritical human. Probably its that one thing in us which is only happy when it is told that we are good. When someone tells us that we are good, it feels happy. When we are accepted into the society, we feel happy. A currency to measure this acceptance is friends. This is just one measure, not the only one. But, it is an (if not the most) important one.
We pretty much can't do anything about our IQ. Maybe we can but its rare that you fail tenth because you can't add numbers, and end up discovering something great in science later. Self-help books can make you believe, and in some corner cases, rightly so, that you can change your EQ. But how about your social quotient. How about that? Can you change that? Can you read a book, or take a course, and increase your social score? My view is that you can't do anything about it. Its one of those things that quintessentially you.
For a while, I believed that it was possible to change a person's social score. I thought there were a certain set of things that you need to do, and you can change it. It is probably true with girls, because... lets face it.. there are enough desperate guys around to keep them company at any point of time. So, if a girl really want to hang out, not too much of a problem to find "a" guy. Rerouting... but I realized quite fast that basically there isn't anything you can do about it. Its what you are. There are many things we love about ourselves, and many things we don't. And this is just one of those many things. Its a part and parcel of what we are. I thought this was worth a blog because of two reasons (i) blogs are free (ii) i think there are lot of people who agree and disagree with me on this. Something contentious makes a good blog.
This is how I view things. Everybody is pretty much the same. They possess all the wonderful (please get the sarcasm) qualities (and more of what) I described above. And I am pretty happy being a human in that sense. My Friday and Saturday nights are just like any other night... watching a movie, sitting in the lab and debugging code written by someone from Mars, cooking food, sitting in a coffee shop or sleeping. No clubs, no discos, no parties every other night for me. To a sub-20, or just 20-plus year old, that may sound lame. And for a while I thought it was. But then I realized that we all live in different worlds. We are a product of our childhood, our environment, and our decisions. So, when I see people who want to change what they are, I feel quite bad about it. I think they are just perfect being themselves. We may be from the same planet, but Eve isn't our mother. And I guess the faster you accept you, the easier everything is. I think its great to party, but its equally good or even better to be excited when you fix code written by another underpaid grad student on a Friday night at 12. I think the same applies to relationships. Relationships don't define people. Its the other way round. You can love life, irrespective of whether you are in one, or out of one. And I am out of words.
Just to keep track... this blog is around 3am. Thanks for reading it. Hope you liked it. See ya.
November 15, 2009
November 8, 2009
Its a game called Life... or is it?
I am sure many of you have been in situations where you were wondering... Should I just quit? Should I just give up and start over? Or cut and leave right now? And more often than not, the option is "don't do that... go ahead with it because the right path is the one with all the hurdles". If you have grown up in India like I have, most of the advice especially in personal matters comes on these lines. And as always, what works at one place, is assumed to work at another. This blog is dedicated to explaining why that is bullshit.
The basic philosophy behind keeping something going... whether it be work on a project, a particular path in the career, or anything personal... like a relationship... is that things will improve. That perseverance is the answer, and no matter what the goal is, you can achieve if you throw effort at it. This is probably correct in some scenarios. Take studies for example, if you hit your head against enough textbooks, you are more likely than not understand a concept. If you work hard enough on a project of reasonable scale, you are likely to come close to finishing it. All this works as long as you know that there are things which are impossible in this world. Nike used it... Adidas did too... and half the population almost believed it... atleast their shirts said they did... Nothing is Impossible. And not the trivial impossible, but the so-hard-its-close-to-impossible stuff. Take for example, trying to get someone like me into biology. Oh yeah sure.. I watch discovery channel a lot. But that doesn't mean I am anywhere close to good at it. Heck, I can't make out the green leafy vegetables (one of the phrases you mug till tenth) when I see them. Now, if I set out to become a doctor, I probably would never get through merit quota (or as I would like to call it, the half-eaten piece of crap left after all the reservations have had a stomach upset from over-eating). And if I ever pay my way through, the only thing I would be good at, would be acting like a doctor in tv shows and porn movies. Now, if I had a brain wave, and tried for the medical colleges ( I truly respect those souls who know they have less than a sperm's chance of making it to the other side), and failed... should I keep going on with it? No. But whats the first advice that you are most likely to get... "You'll do better next time... try again.. (and most importantly) Don't give up". That is a load of bullshit.
Another scenario... how about a wall-street banker... if he stuck onto every stock he bought. Would he go anywhere? Nope. Then, why is it that the adage "Don't give up... keep trying" is applied to all phases of life. Haven't we seen enough circumstances where giving up is better than just sitting in the same place and sulking. I used to think that life is a game without a restart button. And that sucks sometimes. I wish I could turn off damage, and have the restart button whenever I want to. Anyways... I no longer think so. Initially, I thought this was maturity. I am "growing up" and "understanding" life more. But no... that isn't it. I just realized that you don't keep playing until you win every race. Nope. Its actually a Poker game. Fold when you need to, and have no qualms about it.
Somethings in life just don't work out. Some people are meant to design processors while listening to songs, others are meant to cut cockroaches and vomit afterwards, and the rest (also called managers) get paid for not screwing up things. Ironically, the toughest job to get is the cockroach-killer's one. This didn't flash right in my face until a few days back. I have probably made a few decisions in life based on the poker philosophy, but never realized it then. I borrowed this poker thought from hollywood movies, and pragmatism.
I wrote this blog at 5am... so pardon the .... and any spelling mistakes. Its been so long since I wrote a blog. Thought I should get back to writing them. Feels good. Hope you liked it.
See ya.
The basic philosophy behind keeping something going... whether it be work on a project, a particular path in the career, or anything personal... like a relationship... is that things will improve. That perseverance is the answer, and no matter what the goal is, you can achieve if you throw effort at it. This is probably correct in some scenarios. Take studies for example, if you hit your head against enough textbooks, you are more likely than not understand a concept. If you work hard enough on a project of reasonable scale, you are likely to come close to finishing it. All this works as long as you know that there are things which are impossible in this world. Nike used it... Adidas did too... and half the population almost believed it... atleast their shirts said they did... Nothing is Impossible. And not the trivial impossible, but the so-hard-its-close-to-impossible stuff. Take for example, trying to get someone like me into biology. Oh yeah sure.. I watch discovery channel a lot. But that doesn't mean I am anywhere close to good at it. Heck, I can't make out the green leafy vegetables (one of the phrases you mug till tenth) when I see them. Now, if I set out to become a doctor, I probably would never get through merit quota (or as I would like to call it, the half-eaten piece of crap left after all the reservations have had a stomach upset from over-eating). And if I ever pay my way through, the only thing I would be good at, would be acting like a doctor in tv shows and porn movies. Now, if I had a brain wave, and tried for the medical colleges ( I truly respect those souls who know they have less than a sperm's chance of making it to the other side), and failed... should I keep going on with it? No. But whats the first advice that you are most likely to get... "You'll do better next time... try again.. (and most importantly) Don't give up". That is a load of bullshit.
Another scenario... how about a wall-street banker... if he stuck onto every stock he bought. Would he go anywhere? Nope. Then, why is it that the adage "Don't give up... keep trying" is applied to all phases of life. Haven't we seen enough circumstances where giving up is better than just sitting in the same place and sulking. I used to think that life is a game without a restart button. And that sucks sometimes. I wish I could turn off damage, and have the restart button whenever I want to. Anyways... I no longer think so. Initially, I thought this was maturity. I am "growing up" and "understanding" life more. But no... that isn't it. I just realized that you don't keep playing until you win every race. Nope. Its actually a Poker game. Fold when you need to, and have no qualms about it.
Somethings in life just don't work out. Some people are meant to design processors while listening to songs, others are meant to cut cockroaches and vomit afterwards, and the rest (also called managers) get paid for not screwing up things. Ironically, the toughest job to get is the cockroach-killer's one. This didn't flash right in my face until a few days back. I have probably made a few decisions in life based on the poker philosophy, but never realized it then. I borrowed this poker thought from hollywood movies, and pragmatism.
I wrote this blog at 5am... so pardon the .... and any spelling mistakes. Its been so long since I wrote a blog. Thought I should get back to writing them. Feels good. Hope you liked it.
See ya.
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