THE INTOXICATION SERIES IV

Ten things which aren’t fair… Ten things which shouldn’t be discussed… Ten things which are unique to India… Ten things which define India.

1. Sachin ‘Ten’dulkar shouldn’t be asked to retire. After all, he has given his life to the game. He has the right to suck whatever life is left in it now. And quite seriously, how do you expect to know what is the newest product in the market without the girlish voice drooling over it?
2. It is not correct to expect Yuvraj to shut up when the BCCI tells him to. He did not bat when the whole of India wanted him to! And he is used to blabbering on TV ads anyways. Remember, he did give a one-liner there too!
3. Air India shouldn’t be blamed for the lack of nose-gear on some of its planes. Its after all, a million to one chance that something may go wrong in a plane, and on Air India, that millionth part turned out to be the front tyres. And don’t tell me the plane can’t run on sixteen other tyres.
4. It isn’t fair to expect Rahul to know history. Atleast not Indian history. After all, all our bedtime stories come from our parents. In his case, his father was flying around in planes, and so was his head. And his mother is an Italian. So, you should expect him to know Italian history.
5. Its not correct to oppose the reservations in education and/or jobs. After all, the Supreme Court did say “We like to be called backward”. So, the more number of “reserved seats”, the better... as more of "India" is “learning”.
6. It is not correct to expect Arjun to leave Manmohan in peace. It would be like Tony Blair giving up on George Bush. Too much love and hate to separate the two of them. And they are the solo supporters of each other’s policy!
7. It is not fair to expect Miya Musharraf to give up his presidency and/or his chief of army post. Atleast the posts are Pakistani, unlike Kargil.
8. Its not fair to blame Air Deccan for a few “overbooked” seats. After all, everything in India is overbooked. From the trains, to the buses, to the seats, to the electricity, to the houses, to the concerts, to VIP (apparently!). Even stupidity.
9. Its not fair to expect Renuka Choudhary to stay on the “unequal” side of life. After all, women have been oppressed for a million years, and the vengeance should last another million, at the very least! And, why the hell oppose it when more than half of “man”kind in India is on the other side!
10. Its not fair to expect me to write a wonderful blog every time. Sarcasm is the bitter-sweet taste of life. Black humor is no one’s own. Sarcastic humor is an intoxication with no bounds.